Full Bed. Full Heart. (my birth story)

I'm laying in bed as I write this with my napping husband and dog, while holding my sweet sleeping baby in my arms. My bed is full of the three things I love the most, and my heart is so full of love I feel like it might burst. That's the meaning of my new blog title "Full Bed. Full Heart." in case you were wondering! I want to share my birth story while it's still fairly new, and it's one of those memories I want to remember every detail about.

The day before I had our sweet boy, I remember being a perfect day. Not for any special reason, it just felt perfect. I spent the whole day with my husband. We went to lunch, we went to visit his parents, afterword we went to the library because they were getting rid of books so we got a whole bag of children's books for $1 (I was really excited about it), and we ended our night cuddling on the couch watching a movie. Just a typical Saturday, but I remember thinking what a good last day of it just being the two of us. Which was funny, because there was no sign of baby coming. I was convinced, however that he was coming because it was a full moon. We went to bed, and I was having a really hard time sleeping so I was playing around on my phone until 12:45 a.m. (I remember the exact time, funny!) I decided I should really try to sleep, so I got up to use the restroom, and got back in bed. I fell right to sleep. Exactly an hour later at 1:45 a.m. I woke up in a panic thinking I had just wet the bed. I jumped out of bed as fast as a pregnant lady can and headed to the bathroom. I was panicking because I knew it could have been my water breaking, but I wasn't sure. I kept thinking, "well I just used the bathroom an hour ago, there's no way I just peed my pants!" I went and got back in bed and I Googled "how to know if your water broke" I was reading all sorts of things until I finally got back up to go in the bathroom to try to figure out if my water really broke. It was a little pink this time which was my big "Ah Ha!" that my water had really broken. It was almost 3:30 a.m. when I finally woke my husband up to tell him my water broke. We weren't sure if we had to go to the hospital or not, (I know, we were dumb! We had never done this before haha) so I decided to call my mom and ask her. She, or course, told me to go to the hospital. I told my husband what my mom had said, so we grabbed my already packed hospital bag and the baby's bag, and we headed to the hospital. The roads were clear since it was so early in the morning, which was a plus! We could see lightning in the clouds, but there wasn't any rain, and the full moon was shining bright. We pulled into the hospital entrance and walked up to the doors. We then realized we had to go to the emergency room because it was only 4 a.m. We walked back to the car and drove to the back side of the hospital where we parked and attempted to go in again. We were greeted at the door by three different ladies asking for all the information and what brought us in. I'm sure they had a good guess with my huge belly. A girl (I actually knew her, I worked with her awhile back) brought me a wheelchair and then took us up to labor and delivery where we were greeted by another group of ladies at the desk. The nurse asked what time my water had broken and then took us back to a room where I could put a hospital gown on, and then hang out in the bed until the nurse could come in. I was laying in the bed so uncomfortable because amniotic fluid was pooling and I had to sit in it. Yuck! The nurse finally came in. She told us she was going to use a strip to test the fluid to make sure it was amniotic fluid and if it wasn't they would have to run some other tests. She grabbed a strip to test it, and said, "well your water definitely broke, you're not going anywhere!" She hooked the doppler up to check baby's heart,  it was perfect. She then had us walk to the delivery room down the hallway. She got me all hooked up with my IV and pulled up baby's heart rate on the screen. My contractions were constant and three minutes apart, but they weren't strong yet. She checked to see how dilated I was, I was only at a 3. The nurses were ready for shift change so the new nurse came in to do report. It was about 5 a.m. at this point. She checked everything out including how dilated I was. I was at about a 5. She started me on antibiotics and started pitocin through my IV. She suggested I wait for the next anesthesiologist to come on shift at 7 to do my epidural. I was so nervous about getting the epidural, I took her suggestion. She said the guy who was on shift at the time did her epidural and she just said it might be a good idea to wait for the next guy. I was thankful she told me, because I was super nervous about it! My contractions were getting stronger, and I started to get really anxious to get the epidural, I just had to wait until 7! I couldn't even start pushing until at least 9, so we told our moms it would be awhile until anything would even happen. My mom came right as the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. I sat up on the side of the bed. My husband gave me his hand to squeeze, I was shaking because I was so nervous. I had heard horror stories about how awful the epidural was. I felt a tiny sting from the needle to numb my back and I squeezed my husband's hand so tight I think the epidural hurt him more than it hurt me! The epidural wasn't bad at all and not worth all the sleep I lost over it! My husband's mom got there shortly after, and they hung out in the delivery room with us until it was time to push. I was dilated to a full 10 at 11:00 a.m. My doctor wasn't working that day, because it was a Sunday so I got the on call doctor. He came in right before I started pushing to introduce himself, and then left for awhile. Our moms went out to wait in the waiting room until the baby was born. The nurse had me start pushing at about 11:20. I asked her how long most people pushed, thinking I wouldn't be pushing long, she said it just depends on the person and that it would probably take me a little while since it was my first baby. Around 12:30 the nurse went on break, and a new nurse came in while I pushed, but I got a little 15 minute break. When my nurse got back I had only progressed a little bit. The doctor came in a little after 1:00 to check on how things were going, and to ask if I needed help getting baby out  (if I wanted him to suction baby) at that time I was getting so tired from pushing and my back hurt so badly. He said he'd check back in about 20 minutes to see if that's what I wanted to do. After he left I pushed a few more times, and decided to have the doctor suction him out. I told the nurse, she went to get the doctor, and everything they needed to suction baby out. I think my epidural started to wear off, because my last five contractions were extremely painful. I started to cry and I couldn't help it (I actually broke my tailbone which is why they hurt so badly). The doctor came back in to deliver baby. I was so ready to get baby here by this point! My husband was the sweetest,(like always) he never let go of my hand, and helped me through the whole labor. The doctor attached the vacuum to poor baby's head and two pushes later I heard the sweetest baby cry I've ever heard and they placed his tiny little body on my chest. I looked over at my husband who was still holding my hand, we were both teary-eyed. 

Our perfect boy was here.

Grayson James Barker was born Sunday, August 30th at 1:54 p.m. weighing 7 pounds and 14 ounces. He was 20 and a half inches long. He was perfect, and we were instantly so in love with him.

I wish we got some more pictures of him right after he was born, but this was all we got!
 I'm so grateful for being able to name Grayson after my grandpa (James) who passed away just a few months before he arrived. I wish more than anything my grandpa could have met my baby. It was my first thought when my mom called to tell me he was passing away, "he won't get to meet my baby". I know Grayson has a special angel looking out for him, and how lucky is he to have him?!

Here are a few of his newborn pictures. ♡

PC thinkofmephotography.